Point at Issue: Dating in the Pandemic, is it Worth Your Time?
Capuski
When the only social interaction you have these days is with the delivery person, maybe it is time to start using a dating app. We can all agree; it has been a long time since we have been able to go on a date or even speak to someone we are crushing on. While going out is still not an option, you can get ready to return to normal by starting a dating profile. While a great way to meet people, is it worth your time?
Thirty percent of U.S. adults say they have used a dating site or app. A majority of online daters say their overall experience was positive, according to a Pew Research survey. If you look at anyone's phone apps these days, you will most likely find Tinder, Bumble, Happn, Grindr, or Hinge. Being alone and working remotely gives people more incentive to find a match.
The good thing about dating apps is that you don't have to commit a lot of money to them; many dating apps are free. Just search, and there are about twenty-plus apps for specific lifestyles and characteristics that are gratis. Some of the apps have add-ons and extra features that come with additional charges, but you don't have to pay them to use the site.
There is, however, a difference in a paid subscription versus an unpaid profile. Paid sites attract more serious users to them. If members have to pay a premium, more effort goes into their profile. "To pay $36 or $60 a month for an opportunity to meet someone is a scary amount of money — especially if you stay online for multiple months," stated a blog post. You don't get that level of quality interactions with a free profile.
Taking that first step may seem daunting, but it is essential for your mental health. During the pandemic, there's an even greater focus on the damaging effects of mental illness. One aspect of well-being closely tied to mental health is social health. Social health is our ability to form meaningful relationships with others, from romantic partners to coworkers, family members to friends, enjoy positive interactions and adapt to social situations.
The biggest challenge with dating apps is who is really on the other side of the screen? A Kaspersky survey of online dating app users worldwide found that over half of online daters do not tell the truth. They lie about their age, height, weight, location, and relationship status. Many will create a profile to cheat or find out if they are a victim of cheating.
It is essential, to be honest when creating your profile. Include a full photo of yourself, do not lie about your age or personal appearance. Being honest is impactful, and when you meet your match in person, you don't want to start the relationship off, explaining away the lie.
When you find your "perfect" match and opt to take the next step, you need to be more creative in the time of a pandemic. Couples have gone on FaceTime dates, 6-foot apart walks, masked meet-ups, all to maintain safety. Some dating apps have updated their sites to help during these times, "Dating apps, such as Bumble and Hinge, feature badges that allow users to share their COVID-related dating preferences publicly. "Like, are you OK to meet up?" said Hilary Gardner, a New York-based tech worker.
With video dates, you are inviting a person into your home quicker than you would pre-pandemic. Although awkward, at least you have a reason to get out of your sweats. Spending the date having to look at someone directly for 30 to 45-minutes can seem like an eternity. The lighting situation also poses its issues, and it is hard to stay focused for that long. One wonders how successful the world of online dating is.
"I have literally four dates planned tonight," said Serena Kerrigan, a 26-year-old New York single and Creative Director. "There's no dealing with the logistics. Who's going to split the bill? Are you going to kiss me after the date? There are so many different things that are very distracting." Put in statistics on relationships of successful relationships."
People would rather deal with the sterility of a dating app than be lonely. As states across the country began rolling out stay-at-home orders in March 2020, Bumble saw a 26% increase in the number of messages sent on its platform. The most popular dating application among 18-29-year olds is Tinder, followed by PlentyofFish.
Platforms are working to keep up with the demand and add benefits that make it easier to interact with your match. Hinge rolled out "Date From Home," a feature that lets users go from the app to a video call if both parties agree. Dating app Plenty of Fish today began rolling out a free live streaming feature, dubbed LIVE!, for members to encourage singles to "date from a distance," stated a press release.
"It's an excellent time for singles to date," said Helen Fisher, the chief scientific adviser to Match.com and a senior research fellow at The Kinsey Institute. "People have time. They're not getting dressed up to go to work. And most importantly, they have something to talk about."
Most apps' basis is how physically attracted someone is to you or them based on the photos. How much can you know about someone you only have a few pictures of and a short bio on who they are? Companies are developing apps that do not rely on photos as your first meeting with a person to combat this. Pickable is a new online dating concept that has is now available. It offers men and women a way to meet people without sharing photos, names, age, or any other part of their identity.
Dating apps are particularly effective for those that are introverts. You don't have to leave your house and can date from the comfort of your couch. It makes it easier than having to go to a bar and make small conversations with strangers. Anomo is a new dating app that allows users to connect via playing games and chatting.
You only reveal what you want to match so you can find out about each other and find compatible friendships. "Introverts generally communicate better in writing rather than talking; it makes us feel more comfortable and protected (typing from the safety of our own apartment), and it gives us time to think about our answers and how to respond," wrote Kayleigh Alexander.
There are dating apps for everyone, and they do help connect people. "For some Americans, these platforms have been instrumental in forging meaningful connections: 12% say they have married or been in a committed relationship with someone they first met through a dating site or app," cited a survey from Pew Research Center.
The reality is that dating apps are easy to use, and as a user, you can expand your options into wider circles. You no longer have to rely on getting fixed up or meeting someone at a party. As a user, you set the parameters such as age, sexual orientation, location, and others to create your online dating pool.
Even though the apps are easy to use, they do not come without issues. Many users reflect that they have been "ghosted" more times than they would like to admit. When someone stops responding to your texts or disappears, it is important to remember that "Most people ghost due to their own shortcomings — not yours. Either they decide that you aren't the right match or dating isn't a priority," wrote author Jessika Roth. Instead of letting you politely know their reasons for ceasing contact, they go silent.
"It's human nature, Herman said, to jump to negative conclusions and manufacture reasons when you don't instantly get the reaction you were hoping for," said Dr. Elise Herman, psychiatry chairwoman at Novant Health. Just like we set boundaries in the real world, it is essential to set them for online dating.
We need to choose when we want to interact and set up a time when we want to swipe or respond to notifications. Another way to avoid disappointment is to be realistic with your choices. Do not choose only based on looks or employment, but chose based on traits that would make you truly happy.
Being lonely is hard and even harder when you can't leave your house and interact with others. Dating apps make it feasible for you to interact with others and at your own pace. It is not a replacement or t to replace traditional in-person dating, but for now, it is all that we have. We don't know how single life and dating will change after the pandemic runs its course. This pandemic has given us the time to contemplate who we are and what we want in a relationship. This information will hopefully help us find our soulmate when the bars reopen for business.